Kung Pao Barbie

Hot and spicy faces.
Ready in five, ten minutes.

Barbie heads Chinese takeout 5-6-13

Jarhead

“We are not trapped by our thoughts. 

What we generally do, however, 
is create thoughts that trap us.”

-- Joshua David Stone,  

A Beginner's Guide to the Path of Ascension

Self portrait 5-5-13

“The things other people have put into my head,
at any rate, do not fit together nicely,
are often useless and ugly, are out of proportion with one another,
are out of proportion with life as it really is outside my head.”

-- Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions 

As a chronic insomniac and someone who struggles with anxiety, I often long for the ability to take off my head at night, literally unscrew it and remove it. If only I could shelve it and it's squirming tangle of restless, anxious thoughts, and stick it all in a jar with the lid screwed tight. 

I also sometimes think that about my feet, when they are throbbing and keeping me awake. But I can put ice on my feet and they'll quiet down. My head, not so much. 

I can't ice my thoughts. Can't turn down the volume. I can't turn the knob to "off." The more I try, the louder the static, the more intense the voices. I've tried creating new thoughts to replace the disruptive pre-existing thoughts, but the result is just cumulative, more and more thoughts piling on until all there is to do is listen to the maddening, creepy dry rustle of them writhing and tumbling atop and in and around one another like a den of snakes.

Does this nose make my octopus look fat?

“Telling yourself you like the way you look is easy. 

Believing it is an entirely different kettle of whales.”

 --Andrew Biss, The Impressionists

Self portrait 5-4-13

Face it.
There are days.
Days when makeup doesn't help.
Days when masks won't work.
Days when dark glasses don't cut it.
Days when the thought of answering the door is out of the question.
Days when another self portrait is, well, unthinkable.
Days when I feel so unattractive, so un-photogenic that there is really only one solution.
Put an octopus on my face and forget about it.

*no octopuses were harmed in the making of this self portrait.

Pin up girl

“This thief was an artist of theft. 

Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, 

but this thief stole the nails as well.”

                     

                                                                                                -- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

"Pin up girl" collage 5-3-13

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

 -- Barenaked Ladies, "What a Good Boy"

Tangled up in blue

 

“You can keep as quiet as you like, 

but one of these days somebody is going to find you.”

                                   

         -- Haruki Murakami, IQ84

Self portrait 5-2-13

 

“She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by --
And never knew.”

                                                                                 -- Shel Silverstein, Everything On It

 

Mayday. Mayday.

"When you're drowning, you don't say 

'I would be incredibly pleased  if someone would have the foresight 

to notice me drowning and come and help me.' 

You just scream."

                                                                                                            -- John Lennon

Drowning styrofoam face 5-1-13

Mayday is an emergency procedure word 

used internationally as a distress signal in radio communications. 

It derives from the French venez m'aider, 

meaning come help me.

Speak up

“When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”

                                                                                           -- Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak  

Collage 4-30-13

"Do the other kids make fun of you? For how you talk?"

"Sometimes."

"So why don't you do something about it? You could learn to talk differently, you know."

"But this is my voice. How would you be able to tell when I was talking?"

                                                                                          -- Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall