Showing posts with label distortion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label distortion. Show all posts

Monday, July 22, 2013

Twisted sister


"The face and body may be perfect,
but if a twisted gene or a malformed egg can produce physical monsters,
may not the same process produce a malformed soul?"

-- John Steinbeck, East of Eden


Self portrait 7-22-13

"Most people tend to think the best of those who are blessed with beauty;
we have difficulty imagining that physical perfection
can conceal twisted emotions or a damaged mind."

-- Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas



Self portrait (2) 7-22-13


"The more fucked up you are, the more I like you.
As long as you've managed to hold onto your identity through all the shit,
then it won't matter how twisted you are. 
I will love you more for it."

-- Ashly Lorenzana


Self portrait (3) 7-22-13

"The truth is not distorted here, but rather a distortion is used to get at the truth."

-- Flannery O'Connor

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Inner circle


"I believe anxiety is caused when the brain cannot resolve conflicts. 
It is a stress response. 
This results in circular thoughts so the same thing is thought over and over again."

-- Dr. Sarah Myhill



Self portrait 6-27-13


"I have come full circle, she told herself, and wondered 
what had happened to all the years. 
It was a question, which from time to time, caused her some anxiety 
and left her fretting with a dreadful sense of waste.” 

-- Rosamunde Pilcher,   
The 50 Best Hotels in Cornwall



"I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider."

-- Joan Rivers

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Sleep deprivation chamber



 "... night brings me many a deep remorse.
I realize that from the cradle up I have been
like the rest of the race -- never quite sane in the night."

-- Mark Twain

" We wake in the night, to stereophonic silence."

 -- Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook


Self portrait 6-19-13

"Beware thoughts that come in the night.  
They aren't turned properly; 
they come in askew, free of sense and restriction, 
deriving from the most remote of sources."

 --William Trogdon 

"Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night."

 -- J.M. Barrie, Little Minister 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

That'll make your head spin


 "As long as the world is turning and spinning, 
we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes."

-- Mel Brooks

Arranged face on a head of lettuce (spinning) 5-25-13


"My tides were fluctuating, too -- back and forth, back and forth -- 
sometimes so fast they seemed to be spinning ... 
It's a marvel that a person can appear to be standing still 
when the mood tides are sloshing back and forth, 
sometimes sweeping in both directions at once."

-- Jane Pauley

 
Arranged face on a head of lettuce (still) 5-25-13


 "You spin me right round, baby
right round like a record, baby
Right round round round
You spin me right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
Right round round round."

-- Dead or Alive, "You Spin Me Around (Like a Record)" 


 "All the dreamers in all the world are dizzy in the noodle."

-- Edie Adams


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Only if for a night


 And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

-- Florence + The Machine, "Never Let Me Go"

Self portrait 5-12-13









“Self abandoned, relaxed and effortless,
I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up bed of a great river; 
I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains, 
I felt the torrent come; 
to rise I had no will,
to flee I had no strength.”

                                                                                              -- Charlotte Bronte, Jayne Eyre
 
 
I slept.
All night.
Somehow I cracked the code.
Probably it had something to do with the fact that I had slept less than 2 hours in the previous 36. 
But still ...
I am rested and alert -- a strange feeling for sure -- all buzzy and tingly. Scrubbed. 
When I woke, I wanted to marinate -- no, to drown, in the beautiful buzziness. 
I wanted to sink further into it and soak it up and to never get out of bed again lest I break the spell -- that magical convergence of fatigue, hope, hopelessness, the planets, the gods, and pure dumb luck that mercifully pulled me under and held me beneath the surface, only if for a night.
I know the spell won't last.
All magic spells are momentary, breakable, un-doable.
There is always a reversal, an anti-spell. 
But for now I will accept this elusive and magical gift that comes along but once in a very blue moon, before it slips away and is eventually and inevitably, undone.


Thursday, April 25, 2013

True confessions of a cutter

“In her more lucid moments, she knew that half her life 
had been sacrificed to safeguard her secret heart, 
to appease that unreasonable, mortal dread she suffered 
of being suddenly revealed to others in a nakedness of spirit 
that terrified her more than the concept of God's own retribution itself.”

-- Raymond Kennedy, Lulu Incognito

Collage 4-25-13
 “That was the irony of Lulu's days; 
that she who lived in a torment of concealment 
had never known a moment when she did not feel 
the eyes of conscience upon her.” 

-- Raymond Kennedy, Lulu Incognito

On rainy days, when she was in a good mood and usually after a feverish bout of house cleaning, my mother would give me and my sisters her old magazines to cut up and paste into collages. 

Mostly she read Redbook.  The covers were warped and stiffened from the wet rings of coffee cups and Pepsi cans. Some of the pages were folded in half, diagonally, right through the middle, marking something my mother must have thought was important, or worth remembering later. The boxes of the quizzes were filled in with her funny looking, left-handed, backward-facing checkmarks.

My mother's magazines did not interest me until they became the raw material for art. I could spend forever cutting and creating with my dull-tipped safety scissors and squirt bottle of Elmer's glue. I usually made faces (go figure!)  I should say, I re-made faces, switching out the eyes, noses, mouths and hair of the beautiful models and transforming them into something a little less lovely, but definitely more interesting. In my little-kid collages, the proportions were all mixed up and wonky. The eyes didn't match. The mouths were huge. The noses went in the wrong direction, like Picasso. 

I wasn't trying to make anything meaningful or profound or controversial or attractive. 

I was just making.

Psychologists and therapists often use collage as a non-threatening art therapy tool that helps clients communicate their feelings, thoughts and emotions. According to art therapist Cathy Malchiodi:

"Magazine photo collage is widely used by art therapists largely because it's a forgiving medium, especially for individuals who are intimidated by pencils, paint, or clay. In making a collage, you don't have to go through the agony of drawing something realistic and are spared the feeling of embarrassment that your pictures look like a ten-year-old drew them ... It also doesn't demand an immediate commitment like a brushstroke across a canvas. In fact, until you glue the images to a surface, you can change your mind, experiment with composition, and add and subtract pictures until you get it right." 


I don't make collages much anymore. I made a few mixed media pieces during my "No Day Without Art" project last year. But we have had some pretty rainy days here lately and the magazines have been piling up, so I decided to go for it. There are men putting new siding on our house right now and it was kind of a weird, unsettling fishbowl experience having dudes in tool belts right outside my window while I was cutting and pasting pictures of naked ladies and eyeballs and popsicles. But hey. The show must go on.

And I must say, the collage-bug bit me again. Pretty hard. Cutting out images with an X-acto knife is super-therapeutic. Way better than safety scissors. And in case you're thinking about trying a collage yourself, glue sticks and spray adhesive make a much smoother finished product than good old Elmer's.

I know there are collage artists who do amazing, unbelievable things with this medium. Wanna get blown away? Check out the work of Derek Gores http://derekgores.com/. I don't expect to approach anything near his kind of genius with my humble collages. But I like to think that he and I can share the same swept-away,  complete absorption of losing-yourself-in-art feeling. On his website, Gores says he isn't interested in "heavy, conscious concepts" with his art, but that he is "always hoping for that feeling of having the senses of a kid, where everything is new." 

Yeah. 
Me too.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Cum on Feel the Noize

Self portrait 2-2-13

There are days when I take perfectly fine, serviceable, focused, nicely lit, clear photos of myself. But when I scroll back through the images, I realize they don't really capture the me that is me on that particular day. At all. Until I distort them.
 
Distortion is typically something to be avoided. If my pictures come out of the camera blurry or grainy, it's because I made a mistake. I goofed. I chose the wrong setting. I didn't light my subject right. I moved. I jiggled the camera. Distortion is unwanted noise or interference that gets in the way of the image's clarity.

But not always.

Sometimes it is the exactly the distortion, the noise, the intentional warping/exaggerating/twisting/spinning/bending of the image, that makes it suddenly clear. A distorted image, for me anyway, can be the more accurate artistic expression  because it breaks open an emotional quality, an atmosphere, a state of mind, a feeling, an idea, that is otherwise locked. Noise gets attention, or draws attention, in a way that I find satisfying and useful -- especially when the distortion, ironically, results in a more accurate communication of what's truest.