Saturday, September 7, 2013

Eye Spy

"There was a moth in there, and it still had its wings crumpled up,
and it was just starting to pump its wings up.
Life continues in lots of places, and life is a magical thing."

                                                                                  -- Laurel Clark

Self portrait 9-7-13

"The Moth don't care when he sees The Flame.
He might get burned, but he's in the game.
And once he's in, he can't go back, he'll
Beat his wings 'til he burns them black ...
No, The Moth don't care when he sees The Flame ...
The Moth don't care if The Flame is real,
'Cause Flame and Moth got a sweetheart deal."

-- Aimee Mann

Self portrait (2) 9-7-13

"If you cut through a cocoon in mid-winter, a thick creamy liquid will spill out and nothing more.
What goes into that cocoon in autumn is a caterpillar and 
what comes out in spring is entirely different -- 
a moth, complete with papery wings, hair-like legs and antennae. 
Yet this same creature spends winter as a gray-green liquid, a primordial soup. 
The miraculous meltdown of an animal into a case of fluid chemicals and its exquisite regeneration into a different animal .. was a feat that ... fed Clive's obsession."

-- Poppy Adams, The Sister

"Eyespots" are the markings on moth and butterfly wings that resemble eyes. They are a defense mechanism that let the moth mimic a different animal. Using its eyespots, a moth can deceive a predator by appearing inedible or dangerous. Essentially, the moth looks fear and danger in in the eye until it backs down.

If the eyespots on today's face look familiar, it's because they're my eyes.
I had a picture of my eyes all ready to go (above), but as I was riding my bicycle I saw lots of butterflies, which gave me the idea to transform the photo of my eyes into wings. Just to see what happened.

So today's face is a two-layered self portrait. 

The me is me. 
And the wings are me, although stylized.

Without getting too heavy-handed with the prolonged "sleep"- transformation-nocturnal symbolism of the moth, I do feel like the moth represents me best right now. 

Thanks to sleep therapy, my sleep is slowly righting itself.

I am sleeping. 
I am changing. 
I am emerging.

With the help of my sleep specialists, I am looking my insomnia in the eye, and it is backing down. 

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I might just be OK.