Bite me!

"We have to convince the little housewife out there 

that the tomato that ate the family pet is not dangerous."

-- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

Killer tomato 10-22-13

"Last year, more people were killed by automobile accidents, 

heart attacks, lung cancer, and natural causes combined 

than by any one tomato."

-- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

"Give the victim sympathy and the biter a clear message 

this is an unproductive way of getting attention."

-- "Put a stop to biting ...", SuperNanny.co.uk

"A tomato may be a fruit, but it is a singular fruit.

A savory fruit.

A fruit that has ambitions far beyond

the ambitions of other fruits."

--E. Lockhart,
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks

This face tickles me so much I can't even stand it.

Seriously.

I can't even stand it.

Do the ripe thing

"One day, there's a hand that goes over the face and changes it.

You look like an apple that isn't young anymore."

-- Greta Garbo

Shrunken apple face 10-20-13

"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep,

or I'd be rotten to the core."

-- Phyllis Diller

"No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace 

as I have seen in one autumnal face."

-- John Donne

"Delicious Autumn!"

-- George Eliot

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then what about a face a day?

And what happens if the face is also an apple?

Or, what if it's an apple disguised as a face?

Wait. 

Wouldn't that be a "fapple"?

OK, now I have a headache.

I think I need a doctor.

I carved this little face in an apple from one of my backyard apple trees.

I let it dry out for a few days until he got good and wrinkly and shrunken.

It's not technically a "shrunken head" though because those are made with actual severed human heads. And while I do sacrifice for my art, it's not that kind of sacrifice. 

I'm no head hunter.

Which means ...

Ding, ding, ding!

It's time for A Face A Day fun fact!

Did you know the term "head hunter" refers to the practice of killing people to harvest their heads for trophies and rituals, and also in order to meet the demands of Western collectors as well as tourists who wanted shrunken heads as souvenirs?

Um. Gross.

Wouldn't a cute snow globe be just as nice?

How about a fun t-shirt or a coffee mug?

Couldn't you just take a few snap shots?

I mean, who says "Honey, remind me to stop by the souvenir shop after snorkeling. I want to pick up some postcards and a severed human head. I told the kids we'd bring them something."

Who looks at a dried up, shrunken, severed human head and says, wistfully, "Remember that awesome trip to Peru? We should go back."

What souvenir shop owner checks inventory and says, "Ralph, make sure to order some more shot glasses and thimbles on Monday. Oh, and we're running low on severed human heads. Can you get on that please?"

Will they allow a shrunken head in your carry-on, or do they make you check it with your other luggage?

Hey, whatever keeps food on the table.

Zesty!

"If you have zest and enthusiasm, 

you attract zest and enthusiasm. 

Life does give back in kind."

                                                                                              -- Norman Vincent Peale

Lime face with a cherry, jiggle eyes, and zest 4-21-13

"True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, 

the zest of creating things new."

                                                                        -- Antoine de Saint-Esupery

Pick me! Pick me!

"You can pick your friends, 

and you can pick your nose. 

But you can't pick your friend's nose."

Strawberry faces with jiggle eyes 4-18-13

"Strawberries  are the angels of the earth, 

innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward."

                                                                                                                 -- Terri Guillemets

Strawberry faces with jiggle eyes 4-18-13