Friday, June 14, 2013

This face will self destruct in ...

“Those who say life is knocking them down and giving them a tough time
are usually the first to beat themselves up.”

-- Rasheed Ogunlaru

Self portrait 6-14-13

"Do you know who it is you are destroying here? It is yourself.” 

-- Victor Hugo, Ninety-Three

Self portrait (2) 6-14-13

 "Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy." 

-- P!nk, "Don't Let Me Get Me"

Aaah, self-destructive tendencies.

Maybe you don't fight 'em, but I do.

I knock myself down.
I hold myself back.
I push myself under.
I battle myself.
I disappoint myself.
I hurt myself.
I self-sabotage.

I feel like I am my own worst enemy.

Like I am crushing myself in my own grip.

Often I feel completely powerless to defend myself against myself and the stupid shit that I do to myself.

I am my harshest critic when I should be my own feistiest cheerleader.

God knows there are plenty of soul-crushing forces out there that are beyond my control. So why am I so hopelessly prone to pile on and add to my own misery?

If someone else talked to me the way I talk myself, I'd like to think I'd have the self respect to walk away.

But how do you walk away from yourself?